Lately my darling daughter has decided that wearing sleeping bags, sleep suits and indeed nappies whilst in her cot is just plain unnecessary. The first instance of this was when I was particularly (read horrifically) hungover and Poppy decided to doubly punish me by waking up from her nap and creating a dirty protest.

What you can’t see in the photos is tiny bits of poo posted through the bars of her cot creating poo booby traps. Nice.

I thought (hoped) this was a one off, dunked her in the bath, stripped the wee-soaked bed, picked up the poo booby traps and washed sheets, teddies, sleeping bag etc.

The next nap time passed with only a few escapes from the sleeping bag. The same at night time, a few escapes then sleep. Phew! Definitely just a one off. Still, thought I had better check on her before going to bed myself.

Found a little naked baby curled up on top of her sleeping bag and snuggling her bunny. Damn. How the hell was I going to get a nappy and clothing on to her without waking her up? Not possible. Worst still, there was wee everywhere. Damn double damn! Why did the husband have to choose this weekend to be away? Why did I become a parent?

The next hour and a half was not fun.

You would have thought that being cold and damp is really rather unpleasant so the best thing to do is keep your clothes on, but in the morning I discovered this.

For the sake of my sanity THIS CANNOT GO ON!

This whole saga began when Poppy discovered the week link in her sleeping bag, the popper shoulders. So Poppy and I hot-footed it to Mothercare to find some zip-up alternatives, not only that, they had to be non-stretchy as Poppy is so narrow that she slips her arms through the head hole of the zip-fronted Jojo Maman Bebe sleeping bag that she already has.

I found this sweet kite patterned zip up 1-tog sleeping bag from Mothercare at £24.99 and as our house is colder than a fridge…

…I also got this 2.5-tog Poppet sleeping bag From Grobag. Not terribly keen on the cutesy design but needs must. I bought it at the rather eye-watering full price of £34.00 however Mothercare currently have it on sale at £23.50. The only differences I could see were that the Mothercare sleeping bag opens from the top whereas the Grobag unzips from the bottom and is hidden under a piece of fabric secured with a popper. It also comes with a handy room thermometer.

Wonderful, normal service can now resume.

Fast forward a week and Poppy has worked her escapologist magic on the 1-tog, unzip from the top Mothercare sleeping bag. Argh!!!!

So it seems we have a winner in the ‘Keep Poppy clothed’ category – Congratulations Grobag! There is a reason why your zips are so fiddly and hidden under a popper! She does still manage to get one arm through the neck hole but at least it stays on. Just wish your designs were a little less cutesy and a little less expensive.

Does anyone else’s child do this? Anything else I can do to prevent her escapologist ways?